passion

have you ever found a class, a world issue, or a place that has just given you goosebumps, and brought tears to your eyes? have you ever found something that makes you so excited about it, it is what you dream about at night, and what your mind wanders to during the day? have you ever found something that has made you feel to the very core of your being that that is what you have to do? that you were born to do? 


so far in my life, only three things have ever given me the "heeby-jeebies", and made me tear up. one of those things is environmental studies/field work, i could talk about the environment for hours, and everytime i get the opportunity to do field work such as ivy pulls, population counts, or even take kids on a hike to show them the outdoors, i'm as giddy as a school girl who got asked to prom. the second is Africa. ever since my school showed a video on Invisible Children (amazing cause), i have not only been involved in the organization, but i have known in my very soul that i have to go to Africa. my heart is there. it is a place of so much potential. just somewhere that calls out to me, and i know i have to go. not for a safari, but to learn, to respect, and to just, learn. my heart sings at the mention of it. i hope to study abroad in Madagascar in a couple years, one step closer to Kenya. 

the third i recently discovered. triathlons. i've always admired triathletes, seeing the Ironman as the ultimate test of athleticism and true determination. and i've now spent the past 3 days researching training schedules, nutrition, and race opportunities. i watch videos of triathletes grimacing through cramps, pushing themselves past all limits, and crawling across finish lines thinking, "that is the most amazing thing i have ever seen. i want that". i want to see my limits, and  shrug them off as if they don't exist. i don't want this to be just "an idea". i really want this. you can only compete against yourself in the gym for so long. i've never been the most competitive, always going for the individual sports, but my cardio is getting out of control. running 12-20 miles multiple times a week, plus core work and lifting weights. i need a goal, i need to challenge and push myself. i need to prove this to myself. so starting next week, my training for a triathlon at the end of the summer. but, taking heed to my father's advice (a former triathlete himself) i should train over the summer, then have my own mini triathlon consisting of all the components of a race, just on my own. to see how i feel doing all three events in single day, and see if it is something i can really commit to. signing up and paying to race, that is. i don't think it should be taken lightly when you watch a video, and you literally get tears in your eyes, because it just pulls on your heartstrings, you want that feeling of challenge, of push, and of accomplishment just from finishing. that is definitely one thing about this sport. there is just as much glory in finishing as there is in being on the podium. because it is all for you.