facing those inner demons

meditation can bring out some old skeletons that you hoped would stay under the rug, just to avoid this reaction:


shivering, silent tears, chattering teeth.. 


all for facing the belief that i held onto for 2 1/2 long years that it was my fault. in just 10 minutes, i was forced to confront the belief, acknowledge it, and then let it go. 


it wasn't my fault.
it wasn't my fault that he hurt me. 
it wasn't my fault that he took it too far and couldn't control his anger, and then took it out on me. 
it wasn't my fault that all i've ever wanted to do, is love. 


some people want to be loved more than anything, i want nothing more than to love unconditionally. 
it wasn't my fault that they weren't ready to be loved, because they didn't know how to love themselves.