biting your tongue

i know it's scary, i know the odds aren't good, i know i'm busy and that you're going to a new school next year. i know. but whatever happened to wanting to talk all the time, or telling me that i was pretty. whatever happened.

i know you're having a hard time at school right now, you can't wait to get out and away from the same old people, and now another stress is on your shoulders. but i'm still here. i haven't gone anywhere, and i've been trying very hard to not change my attitude towards you. you're bumming it cuz you can't wait to get out, and you're scared. but, it seems everything is either not good, or drunk over there. and i don't think i could be too much more the opposite. i'm there for you all day, everyday. and then when i try to pull back just a little bit, you think i'm angry with you and start to feel guilty, which then makes me feel even worse. i'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. if i keep on this path of feeling, well, kind of neglected, it's gonna hurt, and i'm gonna feel alone. but, if i say something to you, you'll feel as if i don't understand. which i do..

but i like you. i like your smile, your laugh, how easy conversation is between us, and how i want to tell you about my day and i like hearing about yours. and i miss you. i miss you wanting to be there. i miss you being happy.